Not Like Normal People

Open Letter to News Men on "This Abortion Thing"

Dear Men on the News,

Tonight I heard Lawrence O'Donnell say "This abortion thing has always been kind of confusing when you try to make sense of what Herman Cain is saying..." He said this to another man. Then he cut to film of three men (Cain, John Stossel and another guy who never spoke) who were also discussing the abortion thing.

Let's start with something really obvious: If you say "This abortion thing" perhaps you shouldn't be discussing it. Secondly, if you can't effectively parse the following, please ask a woman. Almost any woman. She can.

Cain: I'm pro-life from conception.
Stossel: Any cases where it should be legal?
Cain: I don't think government should make that decision.
Stossel: I'm confused
Cain: I'm pro-life period.
Stossel: If a woman is raped she should not be allowed to end the pregnancy.
Cain: That's her choice. It's not government's choice. I support life from conception.
Stossel: So abortion should be legal.
Cain: NO it should not be legal. I believe in the sanctity of life.
    (cut to silent guy with Munchian open mouth)
Stossel: I'm not getting...I'm not understanding. If it's her choice that means it's legal.
Cain: I don't believe a woman should have an abortion. Does that help to clear it up?
                                           (with John Stossel on Fox July 2011)

Cut back to MSNBC and a couple of baffled looking men.

Okay, so Herman Cain is new at politics and hasn't gotten good at outright lying to the press. Give him time.

But, seriously, how is this hard to parse? This is Cain's position (backing quote in parens)

• Abortion should be illegal in the US (No it should not be legal.)
• Women should be able to defy the law if government tries to control her choice. (That's her choice.)

Still not clear?

Pre-Roe, rich women left the US or went to clinics whose addresses were secretly traded when someone got 'in trouble' and poor women used whatever desperate measure was available -- and died far too often.

That's what Herman Cain supports.

Should you need help with "this abortion thing" in the future, please feel free to drop me a note.

Love,

~beth

Apple's Precioussss New Building

With their recent claim to "World's Richest Company" - a title that comes and goes depending on the whims of those that play with such markets - you'd think Apple would be happy to grow their thralldom fan base at a reasonable rate and with a little discretion.

Yeah, you would be wrong. So very, very wrong.

On Reclaiming Cunt

Ann Wilson (of Heart) stepped onstage and ripped out a trademark "Oooooh, Barra...cunta!"

I looked at my daughter, who had brought me to the Vagina Monologues, raised an eyebrow (or two, I never did nail that Rock-like single eyebrow thing) and smiled. "Barracunta!" Ann again, "Now you all say it with me."

That pin-drop silence you always hear about? It happened.

Then, as one, we inhaled and we did. "Barracunta!" Tentatively.

1400 Women -- and a few brave men -- ranging from barely pubescent to elderly. "Barracunta!"

"Barracunta!" Then we did it again. "Barracunta!" And again. "Barracunta!" Louder each time. "Barracunta! Barracunta!" until we were all on our feet and the building shook. "Barracunta! Barracunta! Barracunta!"

I imagine that some of those brave men thought they were in some "Barracunta Madness" where having said it three times, the spirit of Barrracunta would now step out of the mirror into the room and come at them, wild-eyed, brandishing a kitchen cleaver...

As the echoes of "Barracunta...cunta..." died away, women who had been strangers moments before locked eyes and smiled and laughed. It was a real bonding moment.

Barracunta bonding.

I get all misty I am woman, hear me roar Barracunta! just thinking about it.

Shoes in Egypt: Contrast and Compare

Today, I find myself playing a little mental game of 'these two things are not the same'...

The first of the two photographs was taken on Feb 1st, when Mubarak said he would not run again. In it, protestors hold their shoes up in a sign of disrespect towards Muburak. Take a good look at those shoes and think about the people who wear them.

Now jump forward to Feb 10th, when Mubarak said he would not step down. Look at those shoes.

Things seem to be changing in Egypt..

Keeping up With Egypt: A Collection of Resources

Confession: I am a news junkie. When CNN started out, I was enthralled by the idea of real news available any time - what a long time ago that was, now Headline News has become the misplaced outrage network and lately CNN just...baffles me. Even with the explosion in all news TV, the actual news is abysmal. I completely understand the people who get their TV news from The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert.

Fortunately, the options for news are no longer primarily focused around TV and radio. Now when I want reliable sources for what is happening right now, I go to the Internet. (Yeah, I said reliable...) Since there is an awful lot of noise (see the list of twitter hashtags if you feel the need for a firehose of tweets about egypt), I thought I would share some of the sources I have found useful. (I will be updating this as I find more.)

Things That Are Not Like Rape: Copyright Infringement

Today's twitter kerfluffle is about a magazine nobody has ever heard of that lifted their content. While I think this is a no good, very bad thing, it's also not all that unusual. Particularly in online foodland, copy/paste seems to be a not uncommon writing method.

What is sort of unusual is the response. As I wrote on kitchenMage, the flying monkeys have been loosed and the histrionics are in full gear. All well and good, your content, your fight...but this...this is just...

"It's writers' rape."

Leaving aside how exactly that possessive works, let me scream NO NO NO.

If it is not rape, it is not anything like rape. Not as a metaphor and certainly not as a bald statement like this.

You see this a lot, things being labeled as 'like rape' or even just 'rape' when they are in fact, nothing at all like rape. Let's help these confused writers out by explaining how these two things are not alike.

If your copyright is infringed...

• ...you may not even know it happened; once you know, not much changes for you.
• ...there are clear legal remedies and an enforcement arm that is usually willing to do its job.
• ...people believe you.
• ...no bruises, pregnancy, STDs or other physical repercussions.
• ...nobody takes the side of the infringer.
• ...nobody asks what your article was wearing.

Your turn in comments.

Punky's Halloween Pads (Menstrual, that is)

Halloween is coming and that means it is costume time. Just in time for the slutty slut outfit you have been eying are these thematically-correct pads.

This way, once you get a little tipsy and slutty goes to sluttier...well, at least your wardrobe malfunctions will be festive.

btw, she has a marvelous assortment of designs - though the McDonald's ones are sold out - and even the ones without bats have wings.

Punky's Pads

Bizarre and Wonderful Beard

Once upon a time I lived in Gold Rush country, where beard competitions seemed fairly common. This...well, this is nothing like that.

h/t to @jaydeflix who sends me lots of funny

BlogHer Convention Week - a song with apologies to Tom Lehrer

I am a huge Tom Lehrer fan. After watching today go by on twitter, what with the 'who is a real writer' kerfluffle and all, I had this refrain in my head. Obnoxious earwormy thing. As far as I know, the only way to get rid of those things is to share. So share I am...

BlogHer Convention Week

with apologies to Tom Lehrer

Oh, the Sparkly folks hate the Mighty folks
And the Mighty folks hate the Sparkly folks
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule

But during BlogHer Convention Week
BlogHer Convention Week
The Blogess and the dooce
Are dancing cheek to cheek
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you don't let 'em in your school

Oh, the marketers hate the purists
And the purists hate the marketers
All of my folks hate all of your folks
It's American as apple pie

But during BlogHer Convention Week
BlogHer Convention Week
Breastfeeders love the Nestle
'Cause it's very chic
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand
You can tolerate him if you try

Oh, the homeschoolers hate the publicschools
And the pubicschoolers hate the homeschools
And the infertile hate the breeders
And everybody hates Anna Viele!

But during BlogHer Convention Week
BlogHer Convention Week
It's National Everyone-Smile-At-
One-Another-hood Week
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you
It's only for a week, so have no fear
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!

National If a Guy Grabs Your Boob, Kick Him in the Crotch Day

These stupid things pop up every so often. Some idiot at a con or at a college or on the Internet - which seems to breed this shit - says, "Hey, I know! Let's make sexual assault into a flashmobby meme thing! It's so edgy!!!" (And yes, they use lots of exclamation marks when they talk.)

Today's stupid is brought to you Sam Bukkak...er Bogucki who is - surprise - single according to his Facebook profile. (Don't shove, ladies!) Little Sam has decided that what the world needs is an excuse to grab women's boobs.

I know! See how edgy he is? (Hey, you hispter girl. No shoving!)

Anyway, Same has declared that from noon on September 14 to noon on September 15 it is National Boob Grab Day.

Oh, he's original, too. Because, that name! 

Well, Sam got me to thinking. See, the only people getting their bits handled on that day are the women, and that's just not fair. We KNOW how much boys love having their bits handled. So I thought and I thought and I came up with my event:

If a Guy Grabs Your Boob, Kick Him In the Crotch Day!

Here's our Facebook page, please share the link with your friends. If a Guy Grabs Your Boob, Kick Him In the Crotch Day!

Bonus from the department of you can't make this shit up, here's Sam's favorite quote, also from his Facebook page:

"He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."

— Samuel Johnson

hat tip to The Undomestic, whose tweet alerted me to this.