Not Like Normal People

Open Letter to News Men on "This Abortion Thing"

Dear Men on the News,

Tonight I heard Lawrence O'Donnell say "This abortion thing has always been kind of confusing when you try to make sense of what Herman Cain is saying..." He said this to another man. Then he cut to film of three men (Cain, John Stossel and another guy who never spoke) who were also discussing the abortion thing.

Let's start with something really obvious: If you say "This abortion thing" perhaps you shouldn't be discussing it. Secondly, if you can't effectively parse the following, please ask a woman. Almost any woman. She can.

Cain: I'm pro-life from conception.
Stossel: Any cases where it should be legal?
Cain: I don't think government should make that decision.
Stossel: I'm confused
Cain: I'm pro-life period.
Stossel: If a woman is raped she should not be allowed to end the pregnancy.
Cain: That's her choice. It's not government's choice. I support life from conception.
Stossel: So abortion should be legal.
Cain: NO it should not be legal. I believe in the sanctity of life.
    (cut to silent guy with Munchian open mouth)
Stossel: I'm not getting...I'm not understanding. If it's her choice that means it's legal.
Cain: I don't believe a woman should have an abortion. Does that help to clear it up?
                                           (with John Stossel on Fox July 2011)

Cut back to MSNBC and a couple of baffled looking men.

Okay, so Herman Cain is new at politics and hasn't gotten good at outright lying to the press. Give him time.

But, seriously, how is this hard to parse? This is Cain's position (backing quote in parens)

• Abortion should be illegal in the US (No it should not be legal.)
• Women should be able to defy the law if government tries to control her choice. (That's her choice.)

Still not clear?

Pre-Roe, rich women left the US or went to clinics whose addresses were secretly traded when someone got 'in trouble' and poor women used whatever desperate measure was available -- and died far too often.

That's what Herman Cain supports.

Should you need help with "this abortion thing" in the future, please feel free to drop me a note.

Love,

~beth

On Reclaiming Cunt

Ann Wilson (of Heart) stepped onstage and ripped out a trademark "Oooooh, Barra...cunta!"

I looked at my daughter, who had brought me to the Vagina Monologues, raised an eyebrow (or two, I never did nail that Rock-like single eyebrow thing) and smiled. "Barracunta!" Ann again, "Now you all say it with me."

That pin-drop silence you always hear about? It happened.

Then, as one, we inhaled and we did. "Barracunta!" Tentatively.

1400 Women -- and a few brave men -- ranging from barely pubescent to elderly. "Barracunta!"

"Barracunta!" Then we did it again. "Barracunta!" And again. "Barracunta!" Louder each time. "Barracunta! Barracunta!" until we were all on our feet and the building shook. "Barracunta! Barracunta! Barracunta!"

I imagine that some of those brave men thought they were in some "Barracunta Madness" where having said it three times, the spirit of Barrracunta would now step out of the mirror into the room and come at them, wild-eyed, brandishing a kitchen cleaver...

As the echoes of "Barracunta...cunta..." died away, women who had been strangers moments before locked eyes and smiled and laughed. It was a real bonding moment.

Barracunta bonding.

I get all misty I am woman, hear me roar Barracunta! just thinking about it.

National If a Guy Grabs Your Boob, Kick Him in the Crotch Day

These stupid things pop up every so often. Some idiot at a con or at a college or on the Internet - which seems to breed this shit - says, "Hey, I know! Let's make sexual assault into a flashmobby meme thing! It's so edgy!!!" (And yes, they use lots of exclamation marks when they talk.)

Today's stupid is brought to you Sam Bukkak...er Bogucki who is - surprise - single according to his Facebook profile. (Don't shove, ladies!) Little Sam has decided that what the world needs is an excuse to grab women's boobs.

I know! See how edgy he is? (Hey, you hispter girl. No shoving!)

Anyway, Same has declared that from noon on September 14 to noon on September 15 it is National Boob Grab Day.

Oh, he's original, too. Because, that name! 

Well, Sam got me to thinking. See, the only people getting their bits handled on that day are the women, and that's just not fair. We KNOW how much boys love having their bits handled. So I thought and I thought and I came up with my event:

If a Guy Grabs Your Boob, Kick Him In the Crotch Day!

Here's our Facebook page, please share the link with your friends. If a Guy Grabs Your Boob, Kick Him In the Crotch Day!

Bonus from the department of you can't make this shit up, here's Sam's favorite quote, also from his Facebook page:

"He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."

— Samuel Johnson

hat tip to The Undomestic, whose tweet alerted me to this.